I can’t do it.
I weighed all of the options, listened to all of your comments, support, and opinions (which were so wonderful!) and in the end, I’ve decided to keep with the rules I placed on this endeavor all of those days ago.
Perhaps this means I’m not as courageous as I thought. But… in the end, I’ve decided to listen to the same counsel that got me past day eight when I almost quit before I had really even begun. That night, my husband Doug and my friend Elizabeth were there for me; they didn’t let me quit.
I received an email from Elizabeth this morning and she said
If you are good with it, and it can make you be freer with the process, than go for it and enjoy yourself in the doing. But if at the end of the month you start dissing yourself because you didn’t do what you said, and you are disappointed in you, then stay with the 5×5.
I read Elizabeth’s email to Doug we discussed the fact that if I don’t change the rules I won’t regret it because I will have completed exactly what I set out to do but if I do change the rules, it is possible that I will be disappointed. Which got me thinking about about regret and regret stinks. So, although I would adore to break out and go crazy and play and “break all of the rules” and go to the place my imagination would like to go – to go where the wild things are, I will instead turn towards home – to what I know, to a place of safety. I do think creativity takes courage – courage to break from convention, to explore but I do not want to regret my decision and hopefully I will create courageously even if I’m taking a step that seems a bit less so.
AND… as Sabrina mentioned, I can break out at the same time I keep to the rules. So, look out for some extra apples this month!
Day 336 was created in pen & ink and watercolor. Inspired by the children’s book, Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak