Create Like No One Is Watching!

 

Life gets me down sometimes. I know – shocker! That’s just life right?

The thing is that this doesn’t happen to me too often so when it does it hits me very hard and it’s difficult for me to find my happy place once again. I dwell on the trouble, I spin in it for a few days and I beat it to death in order to process what has caused my funk. It is my way of finding my way out. It isn’t a pretty sight and it takes it’s toll on those closest to me as I struggle to make sense of the world. Tonight I was exhausted from this latest journey so I knew I needed to force myself to separate from it for awhile. I decided to throw some paint and create like no one was watching. My mom has always told me that you should dance that way so…

I was blessed with the happy gene. To be specific the oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR). Optimism and positivity have never been an issue for me. I know this is an area where I hit the jackpot in life. That’s what it is isn’t it? Some people have the perfect nose or a photographic memory or can take apart and put together anything mechanical or can sing like an angel. We all have our strong points and we all have our weaknesses. No one person’s strength or genes are better than another – I truly feel that it all balances for the most part. So why are we so competitive? Why do we WORK at showing people who we think we are. Why can’t we just be?

I have a scar – it may seen small and insignificant compared to horrible tragedies and personal violations that have happened to people but it has changed the course of my life. It happened in the sixth grade, in (oh gosh I wish I could remember her name) French class. I was humiliated and told I was the perfect example of how not to do something. We were given an assignment to get a magazine photo of a person and then tell the class about the photo. This is a girl, she has brown hair, she is tall etc. I went first. And failed at it miserably. Perhaps I was ill prepared. Ok – no perhaps about it. But – was it ok for the teacher to treat me the way she did. NO! And I can’t let it go. I wonder about this because if I can’t let something so benign go how do people survive real atrocities? How do you take the images out of your head and stop playing them over and over. The strength and energy it must take is staggering.

Art therapy is powerful. It can take us away from those moment we don’t ever need to relive. Art can take us away from pain it can take us away from our daily simple stresses. So – after a difficult day I decided to go into my zone and to create like no one was watching – happiness gene or not – it will take your cares away for awhile and let us simply – BE. No need to show or compete or hide or struggle in moments like these.

Until tomorrow. Oops – nope, not until Monday. I’m taking a few days off to celebrate and participate in my brother Michael’s wedding.

 

In The Studio today April 3, 2012 I created this image with black grease stick, wax, and watercolor!

 

 

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6 comments for “Create Like No One Is Watching!

  1. Mary
    April 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Thank you so much for this! This is exactly what I’ve been trying to explain, explore, learn, and encourage. You said it perfectly :) Art therapy is the least toxic treatment for anything, no matter how large or small another would precieve it and express it. Its also constructive and beneficial with qualifyed guidance, as we sometimes misinterpret which can be dangerously damaging. You are so brave, strong, creative, and sweet. You have inspired with every stroke of your bush, and honesty.

    • April 18, 2012 at 9:45 am

      Hi Mary,

      I’m sorry I haven’t replied to your wonderful and kind comment yet. I’ve been decompressing and rejuvenating! I love what you say about art therapy being the least toxic way treatment for anything. Although I use my art as therapy I understand that we need qualified Art Therapists to guide people in controlled environments in order to safely help use art as a tool to heal. I’ll leave that to you – it sounds like perhaps that is your field. 

      I’m trying to reveal my true self through my words and works – whoo – not easy emotionally a lot of days but I thank you dearly for sharing your feelings and observations with me.

      Big Love, Kind Heart!
      Jenna

  2. April 4, 2012 at 2:30 am

    Hi Jenna.  I managed to read your posting today with a self-depricating giggle.  I saw in your sixth grade misfortune the very same thing which happened to me about 10 years ago.  At that stage I was already a lawyer and politician.  It was during a function where all political parties’ legal representatives came together just before an election.  At this function all parties would pledge that they will abide by the Electoral Code of Conduct and play the game in a fair manner.  I was still sitting very relaxed at a table when the Chairperson of the Electoral Commission, after her speech, suddenly announced that she was going to give each representative of the respective political parties an opportunity to state what their party would do to abide by the rules.  And guess what, she called me up to the stage first.  There I stood, awoken from being on Planet Cuckooland, suddenly with television cameras and lights on me…..and nothing came out of my mouth!  Nada!  After what felt to me like hours I managed to rumble off some goobledy-gook nonsense and made my way back to my seat.  The fact that no-one clapped their hands made it even worse.
    Up until today I have the very same fear that this will happen with me again.  I have in the meantime spoken on the radio and television and of course in courts, but still that small fear subsists.
    The solution is to repeatedly do precisely that which caused you harm.
    If I were you, I would go back to the same school and ask the headmaster to represent some of your art in the very class where you got your scar from.  Go and show that class that Jennifer Dye made it to the very highest level in life!  Go back and go and face your scar right there and go and prove to yourself (no one else will be able to remember this incident) that you have moved way beyond that moment.
    You are a true inspiration to many of us.  Whenever you feel down, just remember that you are very, very special in many people’s eyes.  You bring joy in many peoples’ sad existence with your beautiful art.  You are truly blessed.  I salute you!

    • April 18, 2012 at 9:49 am

      Chris,

      What a story! I’ve been in that deer in the headlights situation before. Goodness – I’m glad you pulled it out! I love that you shared it here and I send you a big huge hug always – across the sea I know you feel it. I feel your friendship and am so blessed for it.

      Big Love, Kind Heart!

      Jenna

    • April 18, 2012 at 10:07 am

      Chris,
      What a story! I’ve been in that deer in the headlights situation before. Goodness – I’m glad you pulled it out! I love that you shared it here and I send you a big huge hug always – across the sea I know you feel it. I feel your friendship and am so blessed for it. 

      Big Love, Kind Heart!

      Jenna

  3. Mary
    April 7, 2012 at 3:12 am

    Sorry, I must say again, I love this! I do the same thing, with scars from time to time too. Public speaking and social activities, initially scare me quite a bit, even tho I’ve had speech, drama, singing, etc… Training and have taught classes in the past. Its easier said than done to let go, and I recently learned a more healthy way of coping, besides learning to laugh at situations. And its a part of what you do, paint, forgive yourself, love, give myself permission to stand up to bully in a constructive way, ask myself “why do I do this to myself?”, I don’t need approval or blame. But with practice and the right guidance it becomes easier. As artists when we are not indulging in our gifts, we become neurotic, especially when we ignore our instincts. So you go girl, create and be happy, you have an amazing gift!

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